Like my favorite vlogger Funky Dineva says: “I’ve been gone for a minute, but now I’m back with the jump off!” I have not posted about much of anything since I’ve been back from NC. I’ve just had some other … Continue reading
I only get to write relaxer babble posts 4x a year! I do not think I have written one since I was in the airport in Utah in August, so it’s high time for another one!!
Styling inspired by Kenya Moore
I am excited to get this relaxer, mainly because I am ready to get a roller set that I do not have to do! I saw a picture of the gorgeous Kenya Moore on Wendy Williams (before Wendy went the hell off on her) and thought “I want me some ole naaasty Kenya Moore curls” in Funky Dinvea’s voice! Kenya may be a bee-yotch, but she puts all of those other weave-wearing sistas on the Real Housewives of Atlanta to shame! Her hair is real and natural to boot! I am sure she wears a few pieces sometimes because there are times when she is doing her monologues that her hair is wayyyyyyy fuller than this, but this is all of her hair below (Wendy weave-checked her). Her color is awesome, too, but I do see in some of her scenes where some of the crown is broken off … I know some breakage-in-the-crown-due-to-color-flyaways when I see them because Jeebus knows I have had my fair share!
I need to prepare myself because my curls hair will not be the length for at least another 18 months (she appears to be waist length), but I don’t care. I will rock my black and grazing BSL hair (and maybe BSL if the relaxer loosens enough of the curl!!) roller set with pride!!!!!!
This woman is gorgeous (on the outside). Period.
I have graduated to 2 1/2 rollers! I bought them the other day at Mid-K beauty supply because while I want some curls, I also want them to be a bit loose! Look at how big this one is compared to the other rollers! It is exciting to think that I have enough hair to do more than one revolution on them!
The sizes of the rollers are as follows: black – 2 1/2 inches, gray – 2 inches, purple – 1 3/4 inches and red – 1 1/2 inches.
There will be a few changes to the relaxer process this cycle. The first change will be how I protect the hair that is already relaxed. I will be using a cheapie conditioner (whatever Kim has available) and Macademia Nut Healing Oil to protect the ends. I got this little bottle as a free gift from Ulta Rewards yesterday. I read the label and the first two ingredients are: Dimethicone and Cyclomethicone. (Other Ingredients are: Tocopheryl Acetate, Macadamia Ternifolia Seed Oil, Argania Spinosa Kernel Oil, Parfum/Fragrance, Benzyl Salicylate, Hexyl Cinnamal, Butylphenyl Methylpropional, Coumarin, Linalool, Limonene). I was like “WTF? Why would this prestige product be laden with silicones?” Now you know good and well that I will not be using this on my hair often. This is definitely an after flat-iron session type of product. I fear ‘cones like I fear the plague. But, I thought that since the product is laden with silicones, it will provide a protective barrier that will keep relaxer run-off from damaging my hair too much.
I also like this travel size bottle and so when all of this silicone oil is gone, I will be using it to place my other oils in when I travel. The little plastic container I use now just doesn’t cut it. It always leaks so I have to suffocate it with saran wrap to keep the oil inside. I have several trips planned in the span of a few months so this little bottle will come in handy. I would have already poured the content out had I not devised a purpose for it!
Secondly, I plan on adding a mid-relaxer protein treatment right after the relaxer is rinsed out and before my hair is neutralized. The Science of Black Hair recommends this step since the cuticle is already raised due to the relaxer’s high pH, it will be more receptive to the protein treatment which will allow it to deeply penetrate and repair the hair. I will be using the ApHogee 2 minute Keratin treatment. I also read that it is great for people who suffer from limp hair right after relaxers (*hand raised*) because it will add some strength and volume. I AM SOLD!!! Kim will definitely wonder what the hell is up (she already scolds me for having too many steps), but oh well … gotta do what’s best for my hair!
I do plan on following that up with my normal deep conditioners, followed by my roller set leave-ins.
Hmm … what else?
Oh yeah! So I will be up for another 14 week stretch after this week’s relaxer. The next time I will be home in NC will be June 1st, so I will not be getting a relaxer until then. This 14-week relaxer stretch was not bad at all and honestly, I think I could go even longer! With the way things are falling this year, I am looking at the last two relaxers of 2013 being in late August and late November.
Well, that’s it! I do not think that I will have anything too blogworthy to experience in the week ahead. I will be leaving for Atlanta first thing Tuesday morning (ugh!) but one bright light is that I get to go to JFK in NYC! I have never been to NYC (it’s definitely not because of lack of ability … more like lack of desire. It looks old and like the whole city stinches of piss), but I will get to on Tuesday. More importantly, they have my favorite airport retailer, Bijoux Terner. It’s a store where everything is $10. I have found some awesome purses at that store … even my well-to-do older cousins ask me where I get my bags! HAHAHA! I love looking like a bag of money while only spending a couple of coins!
If I find anything good, I will post! Until then, ta ta!! 🙂
Yes GAWD, hunty! I was directed to Funky Dineva’s YouTube channel and have not been the same since! My vernacular now includes her memorable phrases such as:
- “My hair is layed like … “
- “Quiet as its kept …”
- “Yes GAWD, hunty!”
- “What’s the Tea?”
- “Catch these Teas”
- This person is giving me ______ teas
- I told her to give me a NAASTY piece of ____ hair!
I also have become more Funky Dineva in my own life! It’s like watching her gave me some sort of weird confidence! Who would have thought!!
Please take a look at his/her (it’s a dude dressed up as a woman) website! Go to www.funkydineva.com for videos, gossip and his blog! I promise it will be a great time!
So … what is my hair layed like today?
My hair is layed like boring old bun! Less than 3 weeks until my relaxer! Yesssssssss, hunty!